The Geek and The Blank Page

Man, Frankiedoodle is posting every day. I'm not sure I can keep up at this rate.

So. Let's get this over with.
I am a geek. Unabashedly, unashamedly. I am a major helping hand in an online community dedicated to a specific computer game fanbase, and I practically live on the IRC channel for this group of people. My sleeping pattern is sporadic at best because of them, and I would not have it any other way.
I am a geek who writes, and thus, almost inevitably, I am a fanfiction writer. I've barely stopped since I could pick up a pencil - one of my first memorable school projects in Year 4 was an extended retelling of the Lord of the Rings story (it remained unfinished, mostly because I only had an hour to do it and I had the slowest handwriting ever). I have always been a geek and a writer, and always a fanwriter.
And on the one hand, yes, it's sad, I should be working with the toys I create, but it's easy. It's easy to pick up a world that I know and love and play with the characters and create something not-quite-brand-new, because I don't have to think about the history or the possible futures. They're already laid out, someone else's work. It's fun, it makes people smile and overall... it's good practice.

Now. Here's the thing. At the beginning of the year, I got involved in two projects.
The first, sadly, only lasted a few months before everyone felt the inexorable pull of real life - it was a Twitter-based roleplay group, with canon characters, and it was so much fun. You'd be surprised at how much effort it was to condense responses to those 140 characters and yet keep them in line with what your character would realistically have said.
The second is ongoing. It is an IRC-based roleplay. The characters are not canon, they are not heroes or gamechangers or trailblazers - they are ordinary people living their lives, with all the pain and joy and simple ordinariness that goes with that. And we do this pretty much every day.
And most days, I love it. I've been part of some amazing moments, and I've written some stunning short pieces of writing that I never thought would ever come out of me because of it. But (and this is a rough admittance for me) some days I don't want to turn on the computer. Some days I want to put down my characters and just walk away and write it all off as a learning exercise. It's tiring, being somebody else on such a regular basis, never mind two other people and occasionally-when-she's-needed a third. It honestly drains me some days, to the point where I want to just curl in up bed and sleep until the week is done. Having to think with a mind that's not my own... it's just overwhelming sometimes. Not surprisingly, it's overwhelming when I'm not in the greatest moods. And there's no breaks, there's no days off to take a deep breath and collect myself - it's either my life or their lives, all the time.
But I choose to do it. So I shouldn't complain. And, really, I'm not complaining... just explaining.

Here's the thing.
I'm about to throw myself into another roleplaying group, this time based on a forum. It's another learning curve, because I've no idea how this goes, but I am honestly so bloody excited it's not even funny. It's based in the universe of Harry Potter, and it's specifically the Marauders era (mid-70s, a challenge in itself) and... and I get to be Sirius 'Padfoot' Black.
I AM SO EXCITED OH HAPPY DAY.
Yeah. And my American wife is Rita Skeeter, so this should be hilarious fun at times.
The thing is... am I being a bad writer?
I should, surely, be concentrating solely on the works I want to get out there and published, in what free time I have around uni. But I'm quite clearly not. Don't get me wrong, I am still working on those projects - I just have less time to do them in now, sort of.
Is that bad? Am I being terrible? Even worse... do I care?

There's a quote by John Lennon: Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. And I do, I really really do enjoy it. And I'm looking forward to wasting little bits of my days being someone else (it helps that I know it won't be a constant stream of someone else's consciousness, but merely moments in the day). So... I suppose even if it makes me a bad writer, I don't honestly care. Which is probably a crime somewhere along the line, but whatever. I'll deal with that when it comes.


Man, this is distinctly unfunny. I am such a disappointment to myself, haha.

Until next time, lovers... accio blog!

-v. x

Stand Up, Take A Deep Breath...

Hello!
Maker only knows how you've found me - or how you know me, given that I'm promoting this to most of the people I know - but welcome, regardless. I started this blog as a sort-of-sister-but-not-really blog to the wonderful Confessions of a Me by my sort-of-sister-but-not-really, Francesca "Falls Off Horses" Price.
... who is probably going to kill me for calling her that. MOVING ON!

I am Rebekah Spencer, better known as Spence, vehlr, CC or even "hey, you, yeah you with the murderous look" (true story). I adore writing, though sometimes I find it hard to get going, so I'm hoping this blog will inspire me to sit at the computer and actually write more, rather than browsing Facebook nonstop. It could happen...
But, more than that, I'm hoping I can bring at least a sliver of order to my quite frankly mental outlook on life. Maybe writing things down in a (hopefully) humorous fashion will start to clear the fog.

In the spirit of copying Francesca, here's a joke.

Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other: how d'you drive this thing?


Til next time, lovers!

-v. x